Rocky Horror Wrestling
by madame bloodbathe
Summary: what happens when a busload of unsuspecting wrestlers end up at an old castle in the middle of the night? final chapter up
1. Default Chapter

A good story should be like a good cocktail combining two things that you love in order to give a warm feeling in the stomach. I have combined rocky horror and wrestling .

So what happens when a busload of unsuspecting wrestlers end up at an old castle in the middle of the night. The sequel crossover to end all sequel crossovers.

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: "you know there's something wrong when you hear the driver say, "oh oh we're fucked!"."

"Oh oh. We're fucked." Austin announced looking at the buses engine. "SHUT UP!!"

The entire busload of tired wrestlers groaned. Kane got out and walked to the side to make it look like he was helping.

"Do we know what's wrong?" Kane touched the engine with his bare hand. 'Sssssss' "god damn that's hot."

Austin looked at him funny, "get your big red dumbass back on that bus."

Kane got on and looked around, it was barely a bus more of an econovan. There were only 14 seats on the bus but only 7 wrestlers had actually gone to the wedding. 

Lita got off the bus now. "How long will it take to fix." Only Austin's legs could be seen and a muffled, "get on the bus and shut up!" was heard in the eerie darkness of the twilight. 

"Well it could be worse." She said. 

Austin pulled himself out from under the bus, "oh yeah? How's that?"

Lita shrugged, "it could be raining."

****

~THUNDER*~* LIGHTENING~RAIN~*.

Austin glared.

"You know what," Lita rubbed her hands nervously, "I'm going to get back on the bus."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"shut up and get back on the bus!"

"Grumpy!" Lita spat before running back on the bus. 

She stalked past Victoria, The Hurricane and Steven Richards to the seat she was sharing with Matt. Kane was in the front seat (next to the drivers seat the driver being Austin now under the bus) fiddling with several books of maps.

He turned to face the rest of the bus, "does anyone know what road we turned off? Hey stop that!"

No one was paying attention to him. Matt and Lita were on the back seat and they were busy. Steven Richards had the seat in front of them, he was holding The Hurricane still (on the seat in front of him) and Victoria (on the seat in front of him) was giving The Hurricane a nipple cripple. Austin was still under the bus. The Hurricane nodded his thanks to Kane and crossed his arms over his chest. A sudden crash of thunder caused Victoria to vacate her seat and land on Steven Richards' lap. The Hurricane chose this opportunity to sit on her seat and talk to Kane. 

"You know I think we passed a castle a little while back." He said snatching one of the maps, "well I thought we did but it's not on any map."

Kane swatted at him, "I'm aware of that. If you're such a superhero, go help Austin."

Hurricane slumped in his seat and pouted, "he doesn't want my help."

Kane looked at The Hurricane and shook his head, "bright green hair and a tux."

"What?" Hurricane looked up.

"Nothing, nothing. Look I'm sure Steve wants your help and Frankly the sooner he gets it, the sooner we'll all be back at the hotel. " Kane opened the window, "I'll prove it. HEY STEVE…"

"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM ANY CAPE WEARIN', FACE PAINTING SON OF A…"

Kane closed the window and looked back at the triumphant face of The Hurricane. "You shouldn't be proud that no one wants your help."

Hurricane opened his mouth to reply but stopped when he realized that Kane was right.

Steven Richards was looking at the rain and the lightening. Victoria was rocking back and forth holding her title and repeating, "it's mine, mine," every couple of seconds. 

"You shouldn't rock like that. It'll cause a build up of static electricity and you'll get struck by lightening the instant you get off the bus." Steven said trying to hold her still but only succeeding in getting bitten … twice.

Lita looked up mid-pash, "is that true?"

"Not even close," Matt leaned back to look at her face, "in fact the only one who should be worried about lightening is Steve. I mean look he's got steel capped boots, steel buttons on his shorts, that brass buckle, thick chains around his neck and he's waving that massive wrench around like a magic wand. Don't worry if anyone's gonna get struck by lightening it's him."

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: the words were scarcely out of his mouth when…

****

~ZAP! ~

Austin stood stock-still. His eyebrows went up in flames, his body had at least 40,000 volts coursing through it. So as you can imagine he was definitely not happy. Plus he was unconscious which meant when he woke up he was going to be pissed. The busload looked at each other. Now was looking like a really good time to move away from the bus.

The Hurricane read everyone's minds. 

"You want to go into the middle of a lightening storm. What's up with that?"

Steven Richards spoke up, "what other choice do we have?"

"Stay with the bus until someone comes to rescue us?" Matt voiced. 

"Yeah sure then we can freeze to death." Victoria muttered.

Lita looked out of the windows, "not with those thighs."

Another bolt of lightening stopped the fight before it began. 

Kane stuck his head out of the window. "It looks like it's just going to get heavier."

"Like Victoria."

Victoria turned around and grabbed a handful of hair… Matt's hair. 

Matt pushed her away, "it wasn't me."

Lita was watching the sky, "not me either."

Victoria scowled at The Hurricane.

"Oh oh."

The door opened into the night and The Hurricane was off like a shot from a gun.

Victoria close behind him, Steven Richards on her trail. Lita and Matt two gig wide behind him. 

Kane watched them run off into the pouring rain, he put Austin's charcoaled body on the bus and locked it. He was about to walk across the road when about 40 bikers came out of nowhere. They surrounded the bus and rode off into the distance. Kane couldn't help but notice the unusual emblem on the back of some of their jackets. A black circle with a silver lightening bolt cutting through it. 

The thunder crackled and The Hurricane's howl indicated not only the general direction of the group but also that Victoria had caught him. 

****

Madame Bloodbathe: and so it came to pass on that eventful night that an unsuspecting busload of wrestlers found them selves stranded in the middle of an electric storm with no shelter, no direction and no holds barred.

"I'LL KILL HIM!" Victoria yelled. 

The Hurricane had climbed into a large tree by the time Kane had arrived. Matt and Lita were nowhere to be seen (and that was probably very fortunate), Steven Richards was sitting at the foot of the tree playing with the grass while Victoria scaled it. The Hurricane was sitting at the top howling for someone to come and rescue him. The Hurricane could climb no further when he started jumping up and down and pointing and yelling.

"It's the castle, it's the castle. I told you so. Oh my god she's got my foot!!" 

Kane looked up at The Hurricane who had just realized that it was Kane that had hold of his foot. He sheepishly climbed down. The saturated bunch walked towards the castle.

It had a crooked sign hanging off the cast-iron gates. "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK."

Matt was in the lead. He scoffed at the sign and walked on. 

The grounds of the castle were huge. Although they had been rather shabbily kept and were now over grown. The castle itself with its pointed towers, crude stone gargoyles and lead-light windows looked like something out of nightmares. There was a dome on the roof glowing eerily, the same pale blue as the lightening. 

"Wait! Can anyone else hear that?" Lita stopped. 

Victoria stood toe-to-toe with her, "what's wrong now? I'm sick to death of your whining."

Lita sidestepped her and put her hand up to her ear, "listen. Someone's singing."

It was deathly quiet. Until the air was filled with the rumble of Harleys. 

"The only singing I can hear is the singing of someone's engine." Kane said patting her on the head and messing up her hair. 

The forty or so motorbikes that had circled the bus now ripped up the castle gardens and rode over the steps past the front door to park beside it.

Steven Richards cringed one of the motorbikes had driven over his foot and he was starting to get the feeling back in it. "Do we really want to go in there?"

Kane plonked a hand on Steven's shoulder, "we're cold, we're wet and we're tired. Do you deny us lack of moisture, warmth and the chance to sit down?"

When Richards didn't answer Kane put his other hand on his head and shook it.

"Good to hear."

For twenty minutes the wrestlers stood frozen at the mighty oaken door. After a lengthy silence The Hurricane opened his trap with a sense of exhaustion and dread. "Should someone knock?" 

The silence gave no answer so he took that as a yes. 

He knocked and a little while later the door opened and a short man leaned out. His hair was sparse and blonde. His skin was pale and had the luster of a freshly exhumed corpse. His dark eyes twinkled with a slight spark of life not yet extinguished. He stepped out a little more and he revealed an old and worn suit and a hunch on his back.

"Hello?"

No one was sure what to do. They were all aware that this was very strange and unusually familiar. 

The Hurricane leapt forward, "I'm The Hurricane and this is Kane and Lita and…"

Kane put The Hurricane in a headlock, "um sorry this is Shane he's mentally ill. I'm Glen. This is Matt, Amy, Victoria and Steven. Our bus broke down a little way down the road. Do you have a phone we could use?"

The little man looked at them, "you're wet."

Victoria looked him dead in the eye, "yeah, it's raining." She looked at Steven who shrugged.

A flash of lightening lit up the motorbikes by the side of the door. 

The little man leant out of the frame a little more, "I think perhaps you'd better all come inside."

Noiselessly the wrestlers walked inside and looked around. It looked like a lodge. A really, really strange one. The place was falling apart, there were plaques on the walls with cats and dogs and other relatively domestic animals on them. There was an elevator shaft in the middle of the room. The carpet was a dark red but it was black around the edges with mould. A casket shaped clock with a skull in the face was leaning by the framed 'American gothic' picture. Strange music could be heard playing. Kane had noticed some odd shape on the stair banister but decided it was his job to keep everyone calm,

"So you're having a party?"

The little man turned around and looked first at the banister then up at Kane, "you've arrived on a rather special night." He laughed, "it's one of the masters affairs."

The Hurricane still in Kane's headlock looked down on the little man. "*cough* lucky him." He croaked.

"You're lucky, he's lucky I'm lucky." A woman appeared out of the shape on the banister. She threw one leg over the railing and slid down, "We're all lucky. Ha ha ha." 

She threw her feather duster to the little man and came into the light. She was about his height with frizzy auburn hair. Her face was powdered white and she had heavy dark eye make-up. Her lipstick was bright red and she was wearing a black dress with a white collar and white apron. 

The strange man began to sing, "it's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll."

Victoria leaned towards Steven Richards, "what's astounding is that she's the maid and that this house is a mess."

The strange man was in front of her, "but listen closely!"

Victoria panicked and turned away but the woman was there blocking her escape, 

"Not for very much longer."

Victoria and Steven Richards turned back to face the strange little man. 

"I've got to keep control. I remember doing the time warp." He sung running around the elevator shaft. 

The woman was slowly walking towards a set of double doors behind the elevator shaft. The man carried on, "drinking those moments when, the blackness would hit me." 

He ran behind the confused group and joined hands with the auburn-haired woman. Together they rounded up the wrestlers and herded them through the doors singing, 

"And the void would be calling."

The wrestlers with nowhere else to go burst through the double doors and were momentarily blinded by the light in the pale blue hall. The stage curtains were drawn and the strip of red carpet on the floor led to a silver chair on the stage steps. There was a jukebox against one wall and a table of food against the other. The hall was filled with all kinds of different people (some fat, some thin, some tall, some short etc.). 

As soon as the door had opened the whole room burst into song. 

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" 

The Hurricane stepped forward to look at the food table and was offered a strange looking pastry by a strange looking man. He politely declined and stepped back towards everyone else.

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

The people just stood there watching the wrestlers at the door. The strange woman danced around them while the blonde man circled them on the other side. Music filled the room and the unusual people all danced according to it's instruction.

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: it's just a jump to the left.

"And then a step to the right." 

_ ****_

Madame Bloodbathe: with your hands on your hips.

"You bring your knees in tight but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN. LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN."

The woman circled the food table and ran behind the arch. "It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me! So you can't see me. No, not at all!" She bent down so that her chin was resting on the bottom of the arch behind the arch behind the food table, "in another dimension with voyeuristic intention, well secluded I see all."

The strange man walked forward so that he had passed everyone and was standing at the end of the food table, "with a bit of a mind flip."

The woman was up on the arch and was walking down the food table, "you're into the time slip."

The man took her hands and helped her down, "and nothing can ever be the same."

"You're spaced out on sensation." 

The man was standing next to Matt Hardy and he suddenly yelled causing Matt to jump, "like you're under sedation."

The room exploded into song again, "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" 

A tall woman with a bright red burn on her chest, bright pink hair on her head and a gold glittered jacket was sitting on the jukebox, everyone in the room turned to look at her. In a high squeaky voice she started singing. 

"Well, I was walking down the street, just having a …FRANK!" she squealed in delight.

Next to Kane stood a man. At least they thought he was a man.

'Frank' stood wearing 6 inch silver and black heels, black hipster undies, a black garter belt, sheer black thigh high stockings, a string of thick white pearls and a vest-corset in black. He had black armbands and heavy black eye make-up. His black hair was fuzzy and he had bright red lipstick.

The music stopped abruptly. 

Matt and Kane realized what was standing next to them and they awkwardly stepped away.

"RIFF RAFF!" Frank called and the strange little man hobbled forward. "Go and scrape Rocky out of the pool."

Riff Raff walked slowly to the back of the room stopping momentarily to grasp the hand of the auburn haired woman, then continuing through the curtains. A loud splash and a curse was heard.

Frank sneered, "Magenta. Columbia. Go and assist Riff Raff." 

Columbia clasped her hands together, with a big smile and tap danced across the room to behind the curtain. Magenta glared at Frank, he glared back she spat at him and walked off with her head held high. 

Frank turned to the wrestlers, "how do you do? I see you've met my…" he paused and glared behind himself at the curtain.

"servants." He hissed.

Steven Richards looked him up and down, "nice clothes!" 

Frank looked down at himself. 

"Do you think so? They're standard issue for transsexual royalty. I'm more partial to red myself." He said touching Lita's hair. 

Matt wrenched Franks hand away and pointed it in a more suitable direction, "this is Victoria."

Frank took her hand and kissed it, "enchanté." 

Victoria pulled Franks hand back and bit into his wrist. Frank yelped loudly. 

Kane cleared his throat. "Who's rocky?" he asked watching Riff Raff hauling a body bag twice his size away. 

Riff Raff had obviously gone into the pool to retrieve the body. He was dripping onto the floor and slipping in his own puddles. 

Frank tripped him and he fell.

"You idiot." Frank kicked him hard in the ribs. 

Columbia and Magenta came forward to help him.

Frank stepped between them, "no! Let him do it alone. After all he _alone_ pulled the trigger that would of killed me had rocky not dragged me from the pool after the castle blasted off." 

Frank turned and a raw burn in between his shoulder blades showed that he had been shot but the question was with what?

Magenta sidestepped Frank and rolled the body bag of Riff Raff, assisting him in climbing to his feet. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and smiled. 

This action infuriated Frank, who shoved the body bag on Riff Raff, backhanded Magenta and pushed Riff Raff from the room. Frank locked the doors and turned his back to Magenta on the floor and Columbia helping her up. 

"Let us have no more dissension." He smirked over his shoulder to them. Then turned to face the wrestlers, "any queries?"

The Hurricane put his hand up, "where did everyone else go?"

Steven Richards also put up his hand, "what happened to your back?"

Frank looked at The Hurricane puzzled, "everyone else?" he looked around the room was bare. He received his vision and his face lit up, "the lab of course."

Kane was chewing on his lip, "of course… can we use your phone? Our bus broke down and…"

Frank ignored Kane and walked over to the elevator, "come up to the lab and see what's on the slab… again." The elevator went up. 

The Hurricane, Steven Richards, Matt Hardy, Victoria and Lita ran for the elevator. 

Kane rubbed his forehead, "GUYS! Come on a little common sense please. We're not all going to fit in there at the same time."

"I call the next ride up." Yelled Steven Richards wrapping his arms around Victoria's waist. She ripped chucks out of his hair, "me too." 

Columbia looked at Magenta, "at least they're more normal than the last two."

Magenta stripped them both before the elevator came back down. 

Steven in his boxers and Victoria in bra and bikini briefs stood in the elevator with Columbia. The elevator rose from sight. 

Magenta turned, "who's next?"

Matt and Lita pointed to Kane and The Hurricane.

Kane looked at The Hurricane and shrugged, "yeah sure." 

Columbia came down with the elevator, this time The Hurricane in his boxer-briefs and Kane in his long-johns were sent up. 

"How long have you been here as a servant?" Lita asked while Magenta stripped her of her trousers.

Magenta cringed, "I am not a servant, I am a domestic. I can leave anytime I choose."

Matt in his briefs stepped forward, "she didn't mean anything by it. We were just wondering why you and your boyfriend stayed here if Frank was so cruel to you both?"

Magenta kicked the clothes out of the way and walked to the empty elevator laughing, "Riff Raff is not my boyfriend. He's my brother."

Matt and Lita avoided eye contact with her. They walked into the elevator and were conveyed skyward. 

The first thing that struck them as the elevator arrived in the lab was that the lab tiles were pink, the color, to be exact, of ham. Like those cheesy cheap hotel bathrooms sometimes. 

The next thing was that it was deathly quiet, despite the ramps and the ledge being covered by the people that had been dancing in the hall previously.

The third that they were in their under things. 

Riff Raff was handing out white coats to the wrestlers. 

"Well, how nice. What charming underclothes you all have." Frank announced loudly to everyone. He stepped between Matt and Lita. He was now wearing a green surgeon's gown over his devilish attire. Frank turned to Matt, "do you have any tattoo's Matt?" 

Matt looked at him in semi-horror, "absolutely not!"

"Oh well," Frank turned to Lita, "how about you? Oh my!" he stood mesmerized by her arm tattoo.

Victoria knocked him aside, "it's hideous. Isn't it."

Frank pushed her back (not half as hard), "oh contrare. It's marvelous."

Matt was seething, "have you met The Hurricane? He has a tattoo as well." The Hurricane found himself shoved into Franks face.

Frank pushed him away. The lab contained a microphone and stage, Two statues of michelangelo's David, a giant freezer and something covered by a red cloth. 

It was really cold in the lab so the wrestlers stood close together. Riff Raff by all logic should have been freezing and maybe he was but he didn't show it. "we await your command master." He hobbled back to the stage where Magenta and Columbia were standing in white aprons and surgical masks. 

Frank ascended the stage and stood at the microphone.

"my unconventional conventionalists. To night I hope to right a wrong. It was mere days ago that you witnessed my creation rocky's birth. It was only 8 hours later that my dear creation saved my life. "

the wrestler's looked at each other in confusion. Riff Raff and Magenta looked at each other in panic. 

"I am still alive, because of rocky and of course, Columbia who tried to protect me and gave her own life. Which brings me to the culprit." 

Frank turned to one side, "Riff Raff, how is it that Columbia is still alive? If I remember correctly you shot _her_ with a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter. You fool! you didn't wait long enough for your pathetic invention to recharge! Your pathetic laser merely stunned me. I floated in the pool until rocky pulled me to the side. With his last ounce of strength he threw me onto the stage and there I regained my composure. But sadly he did not have the same luck."

The wrestler's became aware of mutterings above them. The people on the ledge were clearly not very pleased. 

Riff Raff was looking very nervous. He was sweating profusely and fidgeting with his pockets. 

Frank pointed at Riff Raff and closed his eyes, "you will recreate rocky for me and then you will be taken back to transsexual."

Riff Raff heaved a sigh of relief.

Frank smiled, "where you will be executed. Not for the crime of treason but on the grounds of…"

Riff Raff looked at the trannies on the ledge he knew that all of his scientific work would be discredited and his Magenta would fall from grace before their execution if Frank revealed the secret that he (Riff Raff) and Magenta had worked so hard to hide.

Frank was aware of what would happen to Riff Raff. He also knew that Magenta would be killed to protect their family honor. 

He smiled as he met Magenta's eyes and pronounced it slowly, "wearing inferior quality fish-net stockings."

**__**

Madame bloodbathe: oh no what will they do? Will the wrestlers ever get back to their hotel? Has austin woken up? Was Riff Raff wearing inferior fish-nets on that near fatal night? 

To be continued…


	2. with voyeuristic intention

"NO!" Magenta cried, "it's not true, tell them it's not." Riff Raff took her hands in his. "Only once to see what it felt like…I"

"What the hell?" Matt interrupted, "you're going to kill him for wearing fishnets stockings?"

Frank looked at the Trannies and they laughed, "fishnets Matthew? Oh no, not at all. I'm having _both of them_ executed for Riff Raff wearing INFERIOR quality fishnets."

Matt snorted, "that's ridiculous."

Kane coughed, "shut up Matt."

The Hurricane grabbed hold of the nearest two people, "can you feel the love?" which unfortunately for him was Victoria and Columbia. Victoria, who swiped at him, clawing his face and Columbia who was absolutely infatuated with him and his little green… tattoo.

The insistent pulling on his pants attracted Kane's attention. He turned to face the Hurricane, whom Columbia was smothering.

"Help me. Get it off." Hurricane whined. It was obvious to all but Columbia that he was kinda creeped out.

"Not now." Kane dismissed him with a wave of his hand. His main mission was to stop Matt fighting with someone who could not only have access to a phone to get them the hell out of there but that also claimed to be royalty.

"SILENCE!" Frank called, "Riff Raff." Frank screamed despite the fact that Riff Raff was no more than two feet away from him. He glared in a way that showed the whites of his eyes, "bring back my Rocky."

Riff Raff humbly bowed and went about adjusting the sonic oscillator and preparing in general. But Magenta wasn't about to let Frank have peace, not without explaining to these 'people' why she hated him in the first place.

"If you created Rocky in the first place why can't _you_ reanimate him? You're a fraud, Frank. N. Furter and your family is the biggest bunch of inbred, steaming social animals I have ever had the displeasure of serving under." Magenta charged up to the trannies that were assembled on the ledge. "Why do you think that the Crown Prince of Transsexual was sent away? He is unintelligent and…"

Columbia let go of the Hurricane's arm and tried to pull Magenta away. While Riff Raff worked to get the reanimation done as fast as he could to distract Frank.

"NO" Frank boomed at Columbia, "I like my SERVANTS to voice their opinions." The Trannies laughed and blew into their party whistles. 

He smoothed over his wild black hair, "the reason, Magenta, _Is that I am_ the Crown Prince of Transsexual and am therefore too important to recreate a creature that I have already wasted time creating. Why should I waste my precious time on something that has been done once…twice… maybe more." Lita's presence in the lab was starting to distract Frank and Matt didn't like it. 

Kane was the only thing holding him back from beating Frank's face to the same color as his lipstick, (Frank's not Matt's, lipstick that is).

Frank snapped out of it on his own after a while, 

"And because I am so important I would like Riff Raff. Like Riff Raff? Nay I command Riff Raff to tell everyone here how _I_ did it." Frank clapped his hands at Riff Raff and the little man ran to untie his master's gown.

Riff Raff, respected scientist of transsexual, walked slowly to the tank that now held Rocky's body.

He cleared his throat, this was his spotlight time and he was going to use it.

"This should be good." Steven Richards muttered. Victoria jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. Despite being a psycho bitch she wanted to know what was going on for future references and possible experimentation of her own.

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: perhaps it was interest that linked Victoria to Riff Raff. Then again, it could have been the bitterness with which both faced the world that united their souls and forged a close bond despite their knowing very little about each other.

Riff Raff stood before everyone and pulled back the red sheet covering the deep tank, which was still stained from the previous animation. 

"The essential ingredient in human existence is color. In fact to create life all one needs is the seven spectral colors to be combined with white light. The higher end of the spectrum creates the body. The tissue, the muscle. The gore." He explained gesturing where appropriate to the colored residue of the glass. "Whereas the lower end of the spectrum controls the personality or lack there of. To create a human suitable for" he glanced at Frank "the Master's purposes the object is to sustain the ratio of muscle: lust in 2:3. This incorporates 2 parts red for every 3 parts indigo. The lust itself will sink to the bottom of the tank as the lowest and most primal of the humans instincts."

Upon looking around the room Riff Raff realized that no one besides Magenta and maybe some of the stranger humans would know what he was talking about. He sighed.

"To make a human you have to make a rainbow."

Muttering and whispers filled the lab, Riff Raff looked at Magenta, he could see that it pained her to see her brother reduced to teaching spectra-biology to inferior minds, his glance comforted her and she relaxed a little bit.

He looked at Frank who was still paying attention to the female humans and how different they were to the last one, Riff Raff raised his hands for silence. 

"However to _reanimate_ life the subject must be destroyed in order to remake the original substance in an identical form. With all the lacerations that Rocky has suffered it would be dangerous even fatal to heal him and reanimate him at the same time. Columbia only had one major wound and it is healing as we speak. But for Rocky it will be the only way."

"Not if you stepped up the reactor power another point and changed the ratio to 3:2 in the favor of muscle over lust. His intelligence even his 'appetite' would remain the same but it should heal and maybe enhance his former physical state."

There was silence in the lab. Frank turned his eyes away from Lita. He looked at Victoria. Never taking his eyes off her, noting how different she was to the others.

"Riff Raff! Is what this woman says correct? Could it be done?" Frank found it particularly enticing that this female was the only one that understood the complex and uninteresting world of spectra-biology.

Columbia pleaded with Magenta to let it go but she was fighting a losing battle. Not only was Frankie distracted by _that woman _but so was Magenta's beloved Riff Raff. Columbia prayed that Magenta hadn't noticed and prepared herself for the outburst to follow.

"Why don't you know? Master. Surely if Rocky was your creation you would know this, huh? This proves that Riff Raff created Rocky and you know it."

Frank ignored Magenta looking instead to _her_, "can it be done?" he walked slowly to Victoria. He handed her his lab coat never breaking eye contact with the dark-haired diva.

Victoria snatched the coat and stomped up next to the tank. "I can't see a reason, why not." 

She looked at Riff Raff and he shrugged.

She took Frank's place behind the tank where she could reach the distilled color taps. And Riff Raff took up his place by the control panel. At Victoria's command he switched on the sonic oscillator, stepped up the power input another point and lowered the distilled color taps on the stroboscope platform.

Hurricane nudged Steven Richards, "feeling left out?"

"I'm feeling free." Richards replied with a smile the size of a small African nation.

Victoria was really concentrating on the tank. She failed to notice the looks of admiration from Riff Raff and Frank N Furter, She turned the taps carefully. 3 parts Red. 1 part Orange. 1 part Yellow. 1 part Green. 1 part Blue. 2 parts Indigo. 1 part Violet.

There was barely any sound in the lab as Victoria turned off all the taps and looked over at Riff Raff. Riff Raff pressed the button altering the frequency on the light. 

Kane stood in front of Columbia and Magenta. The Hurricane was next to Steven Richards and Frank N Furter. Matt and Lita stood next to Kane. The Trannies stood with baited breath.

A flash of bright white light flooded the lab. It was gone as soon as it had appeared.

"MY BABY!" Frank screeched. Rocky sat up he looked very confused but was overjoyed to see his master and lover alive and well.

Frank ran to hug 'his' creation. "I am indeed grateful for your services. Miss um…"

"Victoria" said Riff Raff, he seemed quite taken by her.

"Right, Miss Victoria." Frank beamed.

"Not Miss! Just Victoria, Master." Riff Raff almost yelled.

Frank had Rocky back and was losing interest in the girl, "whatever. I am most grateful. However can I repay you?"

"Don't kill him." Victoria was looking at Riff Raff the same way he was looking at her. "Let me keep him."

Frank looked at the other wrestlers who shrugged, laughed or pretended to hurl. Quite puzzled by the differing reactions Frank cast an eye in Magenta's direction. Columbia was physically restraining her. Kane had gotten out of her way. Magenta was torn apart by the thought that Riff Raff could love another and so wanted to exact bloodied revenge on Victoria the first chance she got. And Frank wasn't the only one to notice. 

Frank looked back at the wrestlers. Steven Richards was so happy he was almost crying. The Hurricane was laughing at him. Matt Hardy was also laughing at him. Lita on the other hand was very concerned with Magenta's state of distress. Frank smiled he could use this to his advantage. For the first time in a long time Frank felt the wheels in his head turning. A thought occurred to him.

"Very well," Frank scowled at Riff Raff, "Victoria. You may keep him, he will be spared."

The Trannies howled in a chorus of despair. They wanted an execution. They wanted the scandal to brighten up their rather dull lives. They wanted something to gossip about behind closed doors back on Transsexual. 

Columbia let go of Magenta and they embraced, laughing and jumping up and down in delight. Kane had moved away from them again and was then forced to move back when Steven Richards embraced Matt Hardy and attempted to do the same. Lita sighed with relief, now everything would be fine. Only the Hurricane (as super heroes do) became suspicious when he saw the crooked smile on Frank's face.

"Magenta." Frank voiced, "why are you celebrating?"

Magenta flushed pink, let go of Columbia and began singing Frank's praises, "thank you for sparing Riff Raff, master. I am eternally in your debt. Your generosity knows no bounds. I…"

Frank looked very smug, "I'm glad to hear that because I said Riff Raff would be spared. Not you."

Magenta's face fell. Tears welled up in her eyes as she reached for Columbia. Lita ran to comfort her. Riff Raff moved away from Victoria to look at his precious little sister. He saw the fear in her eyes and turned from her. The Trannies howled again, this time in triumph they would have their execution after all. 

Frank smiled at her, aware of the cruel irony, "I'm sorry if you found my words misleading."

"That's not fair!" Matt Hardy stepped in front of her. "What right have you to…"

"I HAVE EVERY RIGHT! Now look what you've done you've made me raise my voice." Frank dabbed at his own forehead with an embroidered handkerchief. They had fallen for it and now it was time to ensnare them.

Frank dropped the small piece of material and put his hands on his hips, "however… if you could provide a substitute for Magenta I might reconsider. How about you?"

Matt stood up straight, "if that's what it takes."

Frank waved him aside, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to her." Frank held out his hand to Lita. "Will you come with me, my dear?"

Lita looked at Magenta, who looked up with pleading eyes. She looked around the lab everyone was staring at her except this human. How could she expect this earthling to pay for her mistakes? She looked at her again and to her surprise and relief Lita nodded and wiped away her own tears. Matt seized Lita's arm and pulled her away from Magenta and Frank N Furter.

"You can't kill her. Take me or take Kane."

Kane turned from a conversation with the Hurricane, " you leave me out of this."

Frank looked from Lita to Matt to Kane in genuine horror, " I wasn't going to have her killed, oh no, no, no. I was going to have Magenta killed. For Lita I have other plans."

"Like what?" Columbia squeaked.

Frank glared at her and she looked down at the ground. With considerable difficulty Frank got down on one knee.

"Lita. My dear red haired beauty. Will you become my queen?"

Rocky started clapping to break the awkward silence. The trannies blew their whistles and noisemakers. Kane coughed, the Hurricane gasped. Matt passed out.

"B…but you have Rocky. What could you possibly need m…me for." Lita stammered revolting images filling her mind. 

"I'm sure I could think of something." Frank stood back on his feet and looked into her eyes.

Lita shuddered. That was a nasty visual. Lita looked past Frank to Matt still unconscious on the floor. "Let me think about it?" she asked cautiously well aware of his strange mood swings and sudden changes of heart.

Frank looked her up and down, "well seeing as you're such an exceptional beauty. Go on." Frank pranced away, Rocky shuffled along behind him. 

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: well boys and girls. What would be Lita's answer? Was she prepared to drop everything and become the ruler of transsexual with Frank or would she let Magenta be executed for the fault of her brother?

And what of Riff Raff, now entranced by Victoria, had he even noticed that Magenta's life hung in the balance? We shall have to see. 

Columbia walked down the upper corridor with Kane carrying Matt between them. They threw him into a room glowing red. 

Kane walked silently behind her until he noticed the single tire marks covering the carpet.

"Did someone ride a motorbike around inside here?" he asked. 

Columbia bent down and ran her fingers along some of the stains.

"Yeah," she sniffed, "Eddie. He rode his motorbike everywhere. He…he was an okay guy. You know." She was obviously hurt by the memory, so Kane didn't press it any longer. Instead he put his arm around her, an unusual idea pounding at his brain.

"You know, I have this brother…"

The Hurricane was exploring downstairs, there was something going on and he wasn't sure what. He wasn't content until he had looked all the trophy animals in the eye. He noticed that most of these trophies weren't of the animal's faces at all. Many of the trophies were the animal's front paws, there was even an elephant's trunk and Steven Richards face.

"Whatcha looking for?" it asked.

The Hurricane leapt back, "that's not funny." He messed up the hair on the 'trophy' knowing that Steven couldn't get his hands out from behind the wall without getting stuck. 

Steven pulled his face out of the blank trophy plaque and came out of the doors to the Hurricane's right. "Whatcha looking for? Some alien conspiracy? Wait let me guess this castle is actually a rocket that came from a far-away planet in a galaxy we've never heard of, right?"

The Hurricane gaped at him in shock, "how could you possibly know that? That's classified information. Well, sort of. You see this castle isn't a rocket ship but it does fly."

Steven Richards tried to stop laughing but he couldn't. "Just like you, huh?"

"He doesn't look much like a rocket ship to me." Riff Raff materialized from nowhere, Victoria by his side.

Richards jumped a mile, "no I meant he isn't supposed to fly but he still reckons he can."

The Hurricane put his hands on his hips and pouted, "I am a super hero and I can too fly. I just choose not to. At my super speed it's not convenient."

"Oh come on, you know I'm just joking," Richards backed out when he realized the Hurricane wasn't going to give up easily, "really I'm one of your hurri-fanatics."

"Of course," Victoria laughed at Steven, "weren't you the one that rearranged his entrance theme to say, "Stand back! The Hurricane farted." Or was that someone else?"

Steven laughed weakly, "no I think it was someone else. Anyone else." 

The Hurricane looked at Richards like he was a small child stealing candy from another small child. You know the look arms folded across chest one eyebrow raised looking down at the victim… subject. 

"That's not funny." He repeated.

"It seems to be very amusing. I believe the whole backstage crew would have laughed hysterically. Am I right?" Riff Raff cooed to Victoria, who dragged him away by his pretty blonde hair.

"You changed my entrance theme. How mature." The Hurricane remarked over his shoulder as he walked away from Richards. 

He walked to the base of the stairs to examine the elevator shaft for extra-terrestrial materials when Steven Richards leapt over the railing and landed on him from almost 6 feet up (shock horror). He smooshed the Hurricane into the carpet, ruffled his hair and walked away.

"Who's the mature one now, stupid head!" 

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: a makeover has always had the air of friends enacting their creativity and color schemes on one another while under the influence of girlie movies and sugar. However this makeover had all the charm of a funeral parlor and a satanic wedding under the influence of tears and despair.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea," Magenta stood behind Lita with the curling iron and looked at her reflection in the mirror. 

"You weren't the only one." Lita's reflection answered. Lita looked at the black corset and black hipster undies she was wearing and groaned. "How long do I have to wear these just 'til the wedding right?"

"No, you'll have to wear these or clothes like these for the rest of your life on Transsexual." Magenta looked away from the reflection and cringed.

"WHAT! That was not part of the deal. These aren't _clothes. _Hell! The other divas wear more than this in hot weather." Lita stood up, knocking the glass perfume and makeup bottles to the floor and wrenching the curling iron from Magenta's hand… sort of. "Ouch!" the curling iron hung from her hair and was slowly tearing it from her head.

Magenta with one fast motion disentangled Lita's hair from the hot curling iron, placed it one the dresser in front of the mirror and picked up every bottle that wasn't broken.

With a second motion quicker than the first she scooped up all the broken glass in a small metal bin and mopped up all the liquids on the floor with a small cloth.

Lita was having a hard time trying to express feelings for what she had just witnessed. But she tried anyway, "how the hell did you do that!"

Magenta looked up from the floor in panic, "I'm sorry I was slow but I didn't…"

Lita put her hands up, "you could of done that faster? But it…"

"I'm sorry, miss. Please don't tell the master. He'll have me executed." Magenta was very upset again.

"Stop! I've never seen anything like that, anything half so fast. What would I tell that loser for? You don't have to call him master when he's not around." Lita sat down again and tried to organize the bottles. They were very pretty little warped glass bottles with specks of color through the twists.

Magenta leant over her and rearranged the bottles with one hand while she wrote in the dust on the dresser with the other, "of course I must show the master respect when he is here and when he is not." Magenta growled through gritted teeth. She picked up the curling iron and proceeded to finish curling the red locks. 

Lita looked at the writing in the dust, it disturbed her more than anything she had ever read in her entire life. She immediately nodded, "yes of course."

She turned and met Columbia's eyes as she skipped into the room. Columbia's face was pink and she looked very pleased. She stopped when she saw Magenta. 

"Are you okay? I was worried." She took a big step forward and picked up a bottle to help her. 

"Bah! Not worried enough to stop you checking out the big guy. I don't need your help." Magenta snatched the bottle from Columbia, "not now, not ever!" 

Lita smiled, the white paint on her face cracked, "if you want Riff Raff back? You'll need everyone's help."

Magenta looked from Lita to Columbia, "why what's happened to Riff Raff?"

Lita looked at Columbia. Columbia shrugged and sighed, "sit down. It's not pretty." 

** 5 agonizing minutes later**

"But she's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. I'm his sister why doesn't he love me."

Magenta sat between Lita and Columbia making stabbing motions with the curling iron.

"But he does love you, the marks on you neck prove that right?" Columbia teased poking Magenta's love-bites.

Magenta pulled away, she sat burning her fingertips on the hot metal. Columbia tried to remove the curling iron from her, yelping as she burnt her hand. Magenta seized her hand at the speed of light and started rubbing some strange blue liquid from one of the twisted glass bottles into it.

Columbia winced, "it hurts."

"Only for a little while," Magenta reassured her, "I apologize for my harsh words, you know I don't mean them." 

Columbia nodded. Lita was very uncomfortable with the looks of the other two women. "I'll organize people to get Riff Raff away from Victoria, OK?" she hurried to leave after realizing that Magenta and Columbia were much more than room mates.

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: I should like to butt in at this point to remind our readers that the wrestlers (with the exception of Lita) are still in their undergarments and lab coats.

Steven Richards found himself alone in the dining room. Goose bumps popped out on his arms it was really creepy in there. There were cobwebs draped over everything even the food. The food, on the plates were large slices of flesh, a white meat possibly pork. It was starting to mold but he had to know what it was. Gingerly Steven tore a small chunk of a larger chunk and put it in his mouth. 

It wasn't half-bad. He sat down and tucked in heartily.

The Hurricane was wandering the grounds with Kane. 

"Ooh look at this it's a bike." The Hurricane darted off into the darkness. Kane sighed, he had been enjoying the silent walk in the moonlight. It had stopped raining now and stars dotted the sky. How long he had been walking with the Hurricane was a mystery to him he had honestly only just noticed him there. And then he had run off to get the "bike".

"Oh no it's broken! Wait a minute, holy not-a-bike this is a wheelchair." The Hurricane called.

Kane stopped, was it too late to turn around and walk back to the house? The Hurricane appeared from the darkness carrying a single wheel in his arms. He grabbed Kane's arm and dragged him a little further into the night. That was obviously a yes. But the Hurricane was right it _was_ an old wheel chair, it's metal had been heat warped and the material charred by fire or other means.

"Well if it is a wheel chair why is it out here in the dark and why has it been set on fire?" Kane voiced the logic he was trying to pull together. 

The Hurricane struck a pose like one that is thinking, "yeah, what's up with dat?"

Kane groaned and put his hands over his face it was going to be a long night.

The Hurricane's tone changed, "what's up with dat!" he pointed up to the castle. Kane counted to three slowly and opened his eyes. There was a light in the window of the tower and the little man was sitting in its glow.

Kane strained his eyes looking at the window then the light in it went out.

Riff Raff pulled down the shade when they had realized he was watching them. "I must inform the master," he whispered to no one in particular. He planted a kiss on the forehead of the sleeping Victoria, "I tried to kill him for his cruelty but he should know that our cover has been blown again by his lack of refinement."

Matt Hardy had at this point woken up and been very confused. He was in a bed, the room was an odd pink color and he was only wearing his under garments and crinkled lab coat. He ventured out of the room cautiously to find everyone else and maybe even get his clothes back. He tiptoed down the corridor and peeked in every door along the way. After peering into three different rooms and finding Magenta and Columbia embracing, Victoria lying on a small black bed in her underclothes and Frank with Rocky, Matt decided he should rethink his plan of attack.

He decided it was only fair to barge in on Frank N Furter and demand to know what was going on. He stood outside and counted to himself. At the count of three he reasoned he would have the courage to confront them. At the count of two Riff Raff pushed him aside and entered the bedroom.

Matt lost all his composure and ran almost screaming back to his room. He could deal with two queer guys but three was so much worse. He sat on the bed shaking and praying for Lita to come and get him.

Lita went to Matt's room and was horrified to find him not there. Columbia had said that the room with Matt in was the third on the right. But she was obviously wrong. She sat down on the bed and almost started crying. What had she gotten herself into now? She was dressed up and about to be married to a strange she-male from Transylvania (from what she had gathered) to save the life of a woman she barely knew. Man, she was in deep. Then Matt had burst in like he was being chased by the hounds of hell, and sat down next to her. 

"Thank god you're here!" she threw her arms around his neck. 

Matt let out a high pitched, cowardly scream that he eventually suppressed and changed to a deep and manly, "oh it's you."

He embraced her to his chest almost breaking all her ribs, "I'm so glad it's you let's get out of here." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room and half way down the hall.

"Wait we can't go anywhere." Lita wrenched her arm from his grasp, "I kinda said I would marry Frank to save Magenta's life… but that's all I swear." She said quickly when his face fell. 

"But I thought that one day you would marry me. And besides you don't know her. What's the big loss?"

Lita glared at him, "you're a shallow sick man, Matt Hardy and if we ever get out of this I never want to see you again!" she turned and stomped down the corridor. 

The door to his left opened and Columbia stuck her head out.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yeah," Matt watched Lita walk out of his life, "yeah, everything's just peachy."

"But this is your chance to be a super hero," the Hurricane whined, "my hurri-senses tell me that you can do it."

"As I have told you about 8 times," Kane pulled the Hurricane out of the tree, "I **don't **climb trees. If I **did** I wouldn't jump **out **of the tree. And I don't **want** to be a super hero. There are more than enough people in the world wearing their underpants on the outside thank you very much." 

The Hurricane crossed his arms and pouted, "you're just a big red meanie. Hey there's Lita." 

Kane's eyes almost popped out of his head, "yes it is. Wow what happened to her?"

Lita stomped towards them in 6-inch platform heels, black fishnets and red garter belt. A glittery black corset and red and black armbands. Her eyes were highlighted by the brilliant blue eyeshadow that escaped up to her eyebrows. Her face was powdered white in a way that made it almost glow, this contrasted the blood red lipstick that lit up her whole face. Her hair hung in loose curls softening her angular face.

Kane shoved the Hurricane to the ground, "I saw her first."

**__**

It seems that not only has the story book romance escaped from Matt and Lita but that Riff Raff is still loyal to the master that he attempted to murder. Why won't Kane jump out of the tree? Will Magenta get over Riff Raff loving another woman? Will anyone stop Steven Richards from eating that moldy old flesh? Check back soon for the next installment of Rocky Horror Wrestling.

Madame Bloodbathe


	3. when you're into the time slip

"Citizen Kane! That was not the super hero thing to do and you are incorrect. I saw citizen l…"

***THUMP!** * 

**__**

Madame Bloodbathe: Kane couldn't think of any other way to respond that would shut the Hurricane up quite as effectively as punching him in the face. And he was right punching him in the face worked splendidly…for a while.

"I don't want to know." Lita stepped over the Hurricane, who was on the ground, face down trying to collect all his teeth. "Look we need everyone we can get to help tear Victoria away from Riff Raff. Can I count on you guys?"

"Of course," Kane eagerly agreed, "we'd love to help you. Wouldn't we."

"I think you broke my jaw." The Hurricane whined, "why did you hit me?"

Kane leant over him. "My hand slipped," Kane growled through gritted teeth, "and we'd be happy to help Lita right?"

"Helping people is what super hero's do." The Hurricane posed and ran off into the night.

"Is he coming back?" Lita asked.

Kane watched the Hurricane's retreating form, "do we need him? I mean really."

" S'pose not." Lita shrugged, "we need a plan to get me out of marrying Frank and to get Riff Raff away from Victoria. Got any ideas?"

"Who else is working on this?" Kane turned to face her.

"So far. You, me and possibly the Hurricane."

"Oh. Well in that case we don't have a hope in hell. But let's go back inside you look like you're getting cold." Kane put his arm around Lita's shoulder's and conveyed her inside.

Steven Richards was still at the table eating when Rocky (Frank's creation) came shuffling in. He sat down and started to eat as well. Richards wasn't a picky eater but he was nothing compared to Rocky. There was slobber all over the table and horrible slurping noises emanated from his flesh filled mouth.

Richards shrugged and forked another piece of meat into his mouth, "so, do you know what this is?" 

Rocky got a big smile and he nodded and banged on the table. "ei, ei." he grunted.

Richards just stared at him strangely, "heavy? Oak tree? Greasy? I don't understand."

Rocky shuffled to the head of the table and pulled the tablecloth off spilling everything onto the ground.

"Hey there's a dead body in the middle of the table. Well parts of one, I wonder what happened to the rest of this poor dude. Hey what are you doing?"

Rocky climbed onto the table and pulled the leather jacket off the body, he held it out to Richards. He pointed to the back of it, "ei, ei, ei."

Steven Richards pulled the leather jacket out of Rocky's hand and smoothed it a bit, he turned it around and looked at the back. It was falling apart there were bit's of chain missing and the little bits of bone on the "BABY" were falling off. He shook it out and the decrepit label fell out of the neck. He bent to pick it up, "Eddie. This is Eddie's body, yes but what is this" and he picked up a piece of flesh from his plate.

Rocky tore the meat from out of Steven Richards' hand. He held it up and turned it over. There were markings on it. Steven squinted to see it but he couldn't.

"What's that?"

Rocky (much to Richards disgust) reached into the table and pulled out the torso of the body. He turned it around and revealed a rather saucy tattoo. The tattoo was missing a small chunk that is until Rocky placed in the space the flesh he had taken off Steven Richards. 

Richards leaned in for a closer look, "so we were eating Eddie?"

Rocky nodded frantically and placed Eddie back in the table.

Richards nodded slowly, "and now I'm going to hurl."

Richards left the dining room very quickly leaving Rocky to finish his meal.

"So we're screwed."

"Yeah that's about it."

"Bugger." Lita was trying to make the most of a bad situation. Kane wasn't helping.

"So who else is in on this?" Kane was sitting in the Zen room. 

Lita was pacing in front of him at the point of tearing her hair out in frustration. "Magenta and Columbia… when they're finished. And you and me."

"When we're finished." Kane approached her.

"What?!" Lita turned to face Kane and ended up backing up to the wall as he continued toward her.

"I said," Kane was little more than two feet from her and closing, "when _we're_ finished."

"Finished what?" 

Matt Hardy walked in casually followed by Columbia and Magenta. Matt walked up to Kane and pulled Lita away while glaring at Kane every minute.

"You know…talking." Kane shrugged and sat down. Columbia bounced up to sit on his knee. 

Magenta looked out the window, "I grow weary of this w…what the hell is that?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

*#CRASH, BOOM, BANG, THUMP #*

"It's a bird." Columbia rushed to the window ledge.

"It's a plane." Lita kissed Matt on the cheek and ran to join her.

"It's a dork." Kane didn't have to look up to know whom the small green entity was crashing through the window with such a noise.

The Hurricane jumped up and struck a pose. "Ah, it appears to be some sort of glass force field. But it didn't hold me, the Hurricane, back. Wats up wit dat?"

"So what is it we're here for?" Steven Richards walked in looking rather ill.

Matt patted him on the back, "you look sick dude. You OK?"

Richards swallowed nervously, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Let us speak somewhere else," Magenta looked at the monitor in the corner of the room. "The master is in the theater with his creation. Let's sit in the dining room." She hissed out the word master and then walked off leaving a small, confused rabble in her wake.

"SHIFT IT!" she walked back in and pointed to the dining room like a demented sign.

When everyone had crowded into the dining room (except Steven Richards) Magenta cleared her throat and began to speak.

"Are we all here? Everyone who is interested in helping me to reclaim my beloved Riff Raff? Where is the little man with the pink underpants?" she half leaned out of the doorway and saw him sitting on the ground.

Matt Hardy spoke up in his defense, "Um he said he couldn't come in here without barfing."

Confusion was written all over Magenta's face. Columbia leaned up and whispered. Magenta got a look of semi horror on her face and gingerly stepped away from the doorway. 

"Question," the Hurricane's hand shot into the air, "why are we sitting in the dining room to speak about this most sinister plot?"

Magenta looked at Columbia. Columbia looked at Kane. Kane looked at Magenta. 

"He want's to know why in here? Why can't we talk anywhere else?"

Lita took the floor, "you know those monitor things? There's one in the lab and in the Zen room and all the bedrooms. But there isn't one in here because it's a Transylvanian taboo to watch people eat."

Kane looked around nervously, "so they're watching us all the time."

"Well since you got here anyway! That's how Frankie kept an eye on the servants." She recanted when she saw the look on Magenta's face, "on everyone in the castle and sometimes in the grounds."

The Hurricane's hand shot up again, "so he knows about the vile villain that littered the grounds with a broken down wheelchair?"

Magenta looked at the Hurricane, "you saw the wheel chair? That belonged to Dr. Everett Scott. He was monitoring Frank. You see we're not exactly from around here. Well, Columbia is and Eddie was. But Riff Raff and the master and me we are from a distant planet."

The Hurricane jumped high into the air, "I told you so" he practically screamed at Steven Richards. Everyone at the table jumped and looked at the Hurricane like he was crazy lets face it in their minds he wasn't far off.

Richards came in to see why he was being yelled at. He sat down next to Columbia. "What?"

The Hurricane pointed at Magenta and hopped up on the table, " you're from a far-away planet in a galaxy that we've never heard of and this castle isn't a rocket but it does fly that's how you got here, right?"

Richards groaned when he remembered the conversation, it was hard to believe that it had been less than two hours ago. "I remember saying that (sort of) but I was joking."

"You were right." Magenta said simply. "We are Transylvanians. We come from a dark planet deep in the galaxy of Transylvania. It's called Transsexual to you. But we call it home."

"It is the land of night. We have no sun only a half moon and the planet is covered in beaches where black oceans wash up on black sands. We sing and dance eternally to it's dark refrain." Riff Raff entered speaking fondly of his home, his eyes opened to the gothic, funereal beauty of the moon-drenched shores of Transylvania. 

"How could I forget sweet Transsexual or my own dear kin?" Riff Raff whispered.

Magenta looked at him with adoring eyes, "but what about _her_?" Magenta could not even bear to say the name of the harlot that had stolen her brother from her. She wanted to look away. But Riff Raff's gaze would not let her, "what _about_ her? She was merely a distraction for the master to focus on while I rebuilt a stronger laser capable of emitting alternate beams of pure anti-matter and quasi-matter. It will destroy even Rocky."

"But I saw the way you look at her…" Magenta's voice filled with forgotten hurt.

"I may have looked at her but I saw only you." Riff Raff looked through the bitterness, the pain and found his little sister again. "To keep up this charade I must go back to her now, she should be waking up and I have to be beside her." He stroked his sister's face with the back of his hand and left as mysteriously as he had appeared.

"That was…weird." Matt Hardy looked around the table. Judging by everyone else's faces they thought so too.

"What's up wid dat?" the Hurricane pouted, "will someone tell the Hurricane, the w.w.e's only super hero, how exactly we are going to vanquish that terrible, despicable, evil…he's behind me isn't he?" The room watched as the Hurricane spun in circles until he was dizzy and on the ground. 

"What's he doing?" Columbia squealed as she watched the Hurricane's eyes spin while he held his head still. 

"Your guess is as good as mine." Kane picked up the Hurricane by the back of the neck and shook him. He was really quite fond of the little guy.

"Why can't we just carry her away?" Matt Hardy also known as Mr. logic asked. 

Steven Richards opened his lab coat to show the bruises, "she bites and she's not going to like that."

"Not going to like what!" Victoria entered the room with a frightening speed, Riff Raff by her side. Magenta dove over the table at her, "how dare you steal him from me. If you were not favored by the master I would strike you dead where you stand."

"We're kinda straying from the issue here, people." Lita leaned over the table and waved her arms frantically trying to regain everyone's attention. "Let's get me out of marrying Frank N Furter then we can settle this family tiff." 

"It's always about **you **isn't it, lowly Lita. You should be ashamed."

Lita glared at the Hurricane, he resumed wetting his pants.

"Come on. Battle plan people." Kane banged his fist on the table and the group settled.

Matt drew up the pros and cons of the situation, it didn't take long. "So we're a bunch of wrestler's stranded in a creepy castle in the middle of the night wearing only lab coats with a group of aliens one of whom holds all the power in his neatly manicured hands. We have no weapons and no hope in hell of getting out of this with our clothes. This is going to suck!" 

Riff Raff ventured from Victoria's side cautiously, "that's not entirely true. Magenta and Columbia can fetch your garments and I have a stronger laser capable of emitting alternate beams of pure anti-matter and quasi-matter. It will destroy even Rocky."

The Hurricane leant close to Kane, "why does he keep saying that?"

Kane shrugged, "why do you wear your underpants on the outside?"

"Check mate." The Hurricane stood tall, "I say we storm the fortress! Take them all by force."

"Earth to comic book nerd," Matt Hardy clipped him across the back of the head, "we're in the "fortress" and who are supposed to storm Frank. All one of him?"

"You're right," the Hurricane rubbed his chin, "it's too easy." 

Unsettled groans sounded and there was much shaking of heads and gnashing of teeth.

"But supposing we were to take the place by force we could smoke him out."

"No fires!" Lita looked at the big red machine not nearly so big or red in his white lab coat, "no fires!" 

Magenta left briefly to check the monitor in the Zen room. Frank and Rocky were in the upstairs lab preparing for her transportation back to transsexual, Transylvania for execution. When she returned Lita had the Hurricane by the throat and Kane, Matt and Steven Richards were desperately trying to pull them apart.

"What's her problem?" Victoria asked Riff Raff. Victoria did actually seem concerned so Riff Raff explained quickly. "The master was going to have me killed for his attempted murder but he'd rather see me suffer so he is instead granting me to you and taking my younger sister back to our home planet to be executed before the royal Furter his mother."

"That's awful." Victoria muttered. The room fell to silence. 

Magenta sniffled, " they are preparing the sonic transducer I will be dead within the hour."

"The hell you will!" Victoria grabbed Magenta and embraced her. "What's a sonic transducer?"

Riff stepped forward, "the sonic transducer is a kind of audio-vibratory, physio-molecular transport device. It will be ready in half an earth hour. Then we will be called into the grand theater for the floor show."

Columbia was shaking and kind of pale she was also getting quieter. No one seemed to notice. 

"How many exits are there in the grand theater?" Matt took all the possible options into his mind, different strategies and plans made themselves known to him and only him.

"Three," Riff said, "the doors leading from the hallway and doors on both sides of the stage. Behind the curtains of course."

Matt wrote with his finger in the dust of the table while everyone crowded around him.

"Look you can actually see the wheels turning."

Matt didn't even look up, "your not helping, Shane."

"Hurricane," the Hurricane pouted.

"Whatever." 

The half-hour ticked slowly by, Magenta jumped when she was called to the grand theater. Accompanied by both Riff and Columbia she walked slowly in. the rows of blue striped deck chairs had been set up along side a narrow aisle. Rocky stood behind Frank on the stage in the front of a R.K.O tower. Magenta stepped up to face him. 

"Riff Raff. Columbia. Go and clean the laboratory." Frank boomed happy to hear his own voice again. Riff Raff motioned for Columbia to go first and she did. The elevator creaked and rattled as it rose. Magenta watched with tears in her eyes as her brother disappeared from sight. 

"You thought that you could save your brother and yourself what a pathetic existence you both lead. You will die and I will be married and I will inherit wealth and privilege and title and you won't even be able to pay for your grave. I can't say I'll miss you skulking about the castle always in my way… But I will miss the way your flesh tastes when your brother is in town fetching food and simple necessities. Will you miss me Magenta?"

The wrestlers standing ready on the stage behind him couldn't help but overhear. Lita and Matt in the right wing, Victoria and Steven Richards in the left. Lita looked at Victoria from across the stage. Their eyes met and the same ice ran through their veins, it was no wonder Magenta hated Frank the way she did. Steven Richards began to shift nervously while Matt silently fumed both more anxious for the signal than ever before. 

The Hurricane was in the lab waiting for Columbia and Riff Raff he had been briefed on the use of the duel-matter accelerator (another of Riff Raff's inventions) and was quite happily blowing things up when the elevator creaked to a stop. 

Riff Raff looked around at the small black charred piles, the smoke still rising off them. "At least you _know _how the duel-matter accelerator works, now this is very important. It is absolutely crucial that the beams never cross…"

"Just like ghost busters!" the Hurricane leapt into the air.

Riff looked at Columbia. "It was a film about ghosts and spirits." She squeaked. 

Riff looked back at the Hurricane who was aiming the accelerator at the few appliances left in the lab, "get in the elevator. Go…now!" 

They stood waiting for the appropriate time period. Then commenced the descent as planned. 

"You never answered me," Frank stood behind Magenta whispering to her, "will you miss me, Magenta?"

The flooring over the pool began to glow. Rocky shrank away from the transducer, Magenta shivered and Frank's eyes lit up. "Ah Magenta. You're time is up. Say good bye to all of this…"

He turned slowly the footsteps behind him not those of Rocky. Lita, Matt Hardy, Victoria and Steven Richards advanced on Frank n Furter. They took the greatest care not to tread on the sonic transducer and also to look threatening without physically touching the Transylvanian prince. Frank backed up to the elevator slowly, right on cue the elevator shaft started to shake and a dull creaking signaled the approach of Riff Raff, Columbia and the Hurricane.

Frank panicked when he saw himself almost surrounded by all of these strangers and his vile servants turned on him. He ran through the aisle between the deck chairs while still they advanced on him. He took the steps two at a time and triumphantly flung the doors open only to start back in horror. Frank n Furter took one look at the big red machine and backed right up. He was surrounded on all sides. 

"WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS! I AM YOUR MASTER, YOU WILL OBEY ME! You have no choice but to obey me?" Frank's screams fell on deaf eyes. The wrestlers pushed him back with their empty stares he stood on the threshold of the sonic transducer. The Hurricane raised his duel-matter accelerator, Riff Raff by his side raised the laser capable of emitting alternate beams of pure anti-matter and quasi-matter. Riff fired, Rocky leapt in the way of his master and took a fatal load of rays. Rocky fell where he had stood his carcass smoldering and bubbling in the after math. Magenta had moved away from Frank and was very glad that she did for she knew looking into his terror filled eyes that she was finally free. And so was Riff Raff. The Hurricane was banging his accelerator on the heel of his hand it wasn't working. If it did go off it would blow the castle past Transylvania straight to oblivion. The rays would be crossed. It spelt doom for them all. Riff looked past the steaming body of Rocky to Frank. He recocked the laser and prepared for the inevitable end of the worst years of his life. 

"It's all over. Your mission is a failure. I'm the commander, I will take no prisoner, no not this time. You think I don't know what you have done to my dear Magenta? I knew all along I have yearned for this moment my entire life and most of hers."

He held the laser up at eye level and pulled the trigger slowly savoring the moment.

"GOT IT!" the Hurricane yelled triumphantly pulling the trigger of his duel-matter accelerator and stepping forward. 

"NO, WAIT!" Magenta screamed. 

The beams crossed. The duel beam hit Frank and blew a hole straight through him. It was an exit wound you could have thrown a cat through. After it hit the backdrop behind Frank it ricochet back along the original paths, in the blink of an eye Riff Raff had thrown his laser to the ground and jumped back. Everyone else had done the same all except the Hurricane who had accidentally stepped on the transducer not only was he stuck but the beam that had just blown another man apart was heading straight for him. He watched calmly as the blue-green beam twisted around the red-purple beam and felt it explode through his chest. 

"Shane? SHANE?!" Columbia screamed at the top of her lungs. The last thing he saw was a blinding white light. The last thing he felt was a dull pain thudding through his chest and the last thing he heard was Columbia's voice calling him back. "Shane, Shane!"

"SHANE, SHANE! WAKE UP SHANE! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" thud! A monstrous blow drove the air from his lungs. Shane helms, the Hurricane, sat up wheezing. Austin was leaning over him. Kane shoved him aside, "wake up dude! We're here!"

"What?" Shane sat up groggily and looked around, "where?"

"At a creepy castle in the middle of the night!" Kane raised an eyebrow, "at mark's wedding, duh! What's wrong with you man? Look you've creased your tux." Kane pulled the Hurricane out by the scruff of his neck and tried to straighten him out.

"Sorry mother! But I have this weird-ass dream." The Hurricane started. 

"That's nice," Kane turned him brushed all the weird shit off the back of him and pushed him into the church, "tell me all about it later!" 

After the wedding the Hurricane sat on his own picking at the leftovers on his plate, watching Amy dance with Matt, Victoria dance with Steven Richards. Even Kane was dancing with some chick with red hair with white stripes Shane was sure he'd seen her before but he couldn't place where.

"Shane? Shane helms?" a female voice inquired.

Shane sighed, "yes that's me." He turned and jumped back a little. "Columbia?"

"Pardon me?" she looked confused. "I'm Sara. I just married mark."

"Congratulations! I hope you'll be very happy together," the Hurricane tried to cover his tracks.

She looked at him funny, "what did you call me before?"

Shane checked himself, "sorry, please don't be offended. I just thought you were someone else."

Sara smiled down at him and placed a small box in his hand, "I was."

Shane looked at the box and decided against looking at it. That had really creeped him out.

He stood with the others as they watched the newly married couple drive away on the undertaker's newest Harley. Then followed everyone else to the bus that a few of them had hired. Matt and Lita had the back seat, Steven Richards had the seat in front of them the Hurricane had the seat in front of his and Victoria sat in font of him. In the driver's seat was Austin, Kane was riding shotgun and making a terrible mess of the maps. 

"What'd you get?" Richards asked Shane over the seat, "I got a mug."

"I don't know I haven't looked."

"Well look," Victoria leant over the seat in front, "or we'll look for you."

"Be my guest!" the Hurricane half passed half threw the small box at her.

"What is it?" Victoria opened the box and threw it to Richards.

"I don't know. Some toy gun I suppose. Anyway it's perfect for you, O child who never grew up." Steven Richards passed it back.

The Hurricane tipped the box onto his hand, he squinted at it, "no it can't be."

To the others he held in the light a plastic toy ray gun but to the Hurricane that had been there on that fateful night he held a laser capable of emitting alternate beams of pure anti-matter and quasi-matter.

Austin turned up the radio;

__

And super heroes come to feast

To taste the flesh not yet deceased

But all I know is still the beast is feeding

And crawling on the planet's face,

some insect's called the human race,

lost in time and lost in space

and meaning.

Madame Bloodbathe: you know there's something wrong when you hear the driver say, "oh oh we're fucked…"


End file.
